Who Are You, Really?
by katreblack
Summary: While trying to find his identity, the Winter Soldier finds her. Rated for general Winter Soldier creepiness.


Hi everyone, this is my first work for this pair, and this fandom. It's been cross-posted on AO3. I took the title from my favorite Mikky Ekko song.

I don't own anything! Please review! Might add a little something if y'all show love.

**Who Are You, Really?**

He watches her from afar.

He's not sure what it is that captivates him, what fascinates him so completely and so utterly. The Soldier observes her, trying to understand the force that illuminates her.

Only a short while has passed since the Soldier decided to seek out Rogers and leave the remnants of Hydra. He wants to know himself, reconcile the parts of his mind and soul that make up the Winter Soldier and the parts that make up Bucky Barnes.

He's not sure who he is anymore, but he's trying to figure it out. It's a mission he's assigned for himself.

The main difference between the Soldier that worked for Hydra for so many years and the Soldier today is that he's living for himself now. But he's not ready to refer to himself as Bucky or even James again, so he keeps thinking of himself as the Winter Soldier.

It's honestly the only identity that he really knows.

His mission leads him to Steve Rogers, and the Avengers. And her.

His former mission Captain America takes him in without even the slightest hint of hesitation. The first weeks are spent with Steve in his Manhattan apartment, trying to remember how to be the man that was once his greatest friend.

The two men try to find common ground. They work out often, at a gym near Steve's apartment. It's Steve's personal gym, a gift from Nick Fury and SHIELD shortly after he'd come out of the ice. It's nice, and keeps their exercise out of the public eye. Sometimes they take walks in the city streets, in the park, anywhere really. Soldier enjoys the walks, finding them to be rather soothing. He's never known anything soothing in this life.

Steve doesn't push him into remembering anything. He is supportive and lets the Soldier work at his own pace. The Soldier likes that. Support.

Eventually, Steve takes the Soldier to the Tower. He is introduced to the Captain's friends. He doesn't really know what to make of them. The Soldier's never had friends before. Steve is the only living soul that comes close to having that title. So he classifies them as comrades instead. Soldier thinks they'd all be pretty useful allies in a fight. They're all wary of him at first, especially Romanov and Barton.

Eventually, Stark can't resist the urge to poke and prod at his metal arm, so the Soldier lets him study it for the sake of improvements and upgrades. Thor wants to spar and test his strength, his happiness and golden charisma almost overwhelming the Solider. The alien prince is a lot to take in. Doctor Banner rarely leaves his lab, but acts very cordially towards the Soldier. The Soldier likes his new comrades, he thinks.

When he first lays eyes on her, he doesn't know what to think at all.

She is soft, and young. She clearly isn't a fighter and would probably break at the slightest touch. The girl would be a liability on the field and didn't appear to have any remarkable skills, so he should classify her as useless, and never pay her any mind.

He sees her accompany the doctor Jane Foster. The Soldier understands that she's an assistant, and nowhere near as intelligent as her employer. He shouldn't care that Darcy Lewis even exists.

But she's beautiful and when she laughs it's such a wonderful noise that it makes him ache inside. He vaguely remembers adoring girls with bodies like hers. Her loose sweater and casual jeans couldn't hide her impressive curves. She's giggling at a joke that Steve just made, and the Soldier envies Steve at that moment. His expression darkens.

The Soldier wants that for himself. He wants that pretty laugh and that brilliant smile for himself.

The girl turns her attention to him when Steve starts to introduce him. She gives him a small smile, blue eyes shining bright.

"Darcy, this is my friend James Barnes. Sometimes he goes by Bucky. He's the one from DC," Steve said, a very slight nervous edge to his voice. The Soldier picks up on it immediately.

Oh.

The Soldier supposes that Steve doesn't want the girl to be afraid of him. He is certain that she already knows exactly who he is, probably having been briefed before being allowed in his presence. Or maybe she just happened to go on the Internet after Romanov dumped all of SHIELD/Hydra's files online.

"Hi James, I'm Darcy. I've heard way too much about you," she greets him, and he's even more intrigued.

He wonders if this comes from the Bucky Barnes part of his mind. He figures that it does, and decides to do what he thinks Bucky Barnes would do in a situation like this.

He resolves to watch her secretly, determined to learn everything he can about Darcy Lewis.

That's totally something Bucky Barnes would do, right?


End file.
